Marissa’s children mean the world to her. She’d done her best to keep the family together. They did okay at first, but when her boyfriend, Drew, just couldn’t handle the new baby’s cries, her fears mounted for them both. The drugs helped her cope for awhile and she tried to make the best of things. She wasn’t ready to wash her hands of Drew. She loved him. When baby number two came along and the neighbors started calling the child abuse hotline, she knew she had to do something to keep her babies safe and out of foster care. Marissa herself had spent 5 years in foster care before aging out when she turned 18. There was no way she would put her children through what she had survived: living with strangers, not knowing what the rules were, fearing what would cause them to send her away again, or worse.
Marissa’s love for her children helped her make the most difficult choice of her life. Empowered by just one individual who pointed her in the right direction, she chose to make an open adoption plan in order to keep her babies safe, and so that she could have a say in their future. She wanted to choose for herself where and by whom her children would be raised. She did not want her children to feel like they were abandoned. She wanted to stay in relationship with them forever and wisely, she wanted to keep them out of the foster care system.
But Marissa didn’t know if this was even possible. She texted a number she found on the Choice Adoptions’ website to see if there was a family who would be willing to adopt her two little boys. She was relieved to find that not only was there a family willing, but the family was committed to finding every resource these two little guys might need to deal with their past trauma and they actually wanted to stay in relationship with her, as well.
Two less children are spending their days and their nights in foster care. Two little boys will be shown how to love, how to attach, and how to make good choices in the context of a loving permanent family who will guide and nurture them. They will not have to move. They will not have to fear. They will continue to know and love their birth mother. Their family has been extended. They know and love Marissa, and they adore their new Mommy and Daddy.
Family is essential to our humanity and to avoid the breakdown of our society. Placing a child in foster care costs taxpayers over $25,000- $40,000 per child, per year. It’s not right. It’s not fair. And it’s costly.
At Choice Adoptions we are passion about keeping kids out of foster care. We work hard to provide birth families with alternatives. We provide parenting training, counseling support, and referrals to community partners who specialize in keeping families together. And if those choices don’t work out, we can help a birth family choose an adoptive family for their children before the state steps in to do it.
What can you do? Help us reach those who need us most. Not many biological parents know their rights.
All parents are entitled:
To receive respect and compassion as you explore all pregnancy options.
To receive unbiased counseling from qualified counselors 24/7.
To make a private adoption.
plan at any time as long as parental rights have not been terminated by the State.
To work with a private adoption agency at the hospital, or at your home, even if child welfare has been called.
To receive financial support during your pregnancy and for 6-8 weeks following delivery.
To choose the adoptive family you want to raise your baby.
To receive ongoing counseling, guidance and support as your relationship develops with the adoptive family.
To obtain a legal contract for ongoing visits with your child.
To feel comfortable in your open adoption; to feel welcomed, honored and valued.
To stay connected to your child and the adoptive parents forever.